Death by Training

hanged, drawn, and quartered... he looked as cheerful as any man could do in that condition...

που λέει και ο φίλος Pap -

Corporate Training is a form of torture consisting of immobilizing the victim's brain on his or her chair with the head inclined downwards, and then pouring bullshit over the face and into the thinking passages. By forced cretinism and iteration of nonsense the subject experiences despair and is caused to believe they had better die. It is considered a form of torture by legal experts, politicians, war veterans, intelligence officials,military judges, and human rights organizations. As early as the Spanish Inquisition it was used for interrogation purposes, to punish and intimidate, and to force confessions.

In contrast to submerging the head face-forward in work, corporate training precipitates a gag reflex almost immediately. The technique does not inevitably or in all cases cause lasting physical damage. It can cause extreme pain, dry intoxication, damage to lungs, brain damage from oxygen deprivation, other physical injuries including broken bones due to struggling against the chair, lasting psychological damage or, ultimately, death. Adverse physical consequences can start manifesting months after the event; psychological effects can last for years.

'Nuff said by the experts. I'll just add the little cherry-on-top.

The subject was our brand new uelsioning tool. At least, so insisted the trainer...